who brought back the ‘what does the A stand for’ discourse?
anyway here’s the facts: there should be no A in the acronym typically, but sometimes the A is used (and has historically been used) on public material to denote that allies are welcome at an event or in a space
this both invites in actual allies because sometimes there’s no harm in that, and allows closeted lgbt people a cover to explain to their family and friends why they’re attending an event/space (they can claim they’re going as an ally)
originally the A was included bc the main goal was fighting for legislation so that it would be legal for us to exist, so straight allies were part of the political movement despite not being affected by the law. this is also the reason why leather pride and shit like that is tied to lgbt history. the main goal was just getting as many supporters as possible no matter who they were to fight for visibility since our numbers are small. because now its more of a safe space issue, its acknowledged that people who are nothing more than allies dont suffer from oppression and the A has been used for closeted people. allies arent bad in things like marches but theyre still not the ones for whom lgbt shelters and resources are for. theres a distinction between ally inclusion in political activism historically and in safe spaces, and thats important
important
A IS NOT FOR ALLIES. A IS FOR ASEXUAL. A IS FOR AROMANTIC. A IS FOR AGENDER. A IS FOR ANDROGYNE. A IS NOT FOR ALLIES.
Historically, it’s for allies. A cishet ally, in my opinion, it more LGBT than a cishet ace trying to be LGBT can ever be. These acronyms have meanings and a history behind them, you don’t get to erase that.
Asexuals are considered lgbt because the lgbt community encompasses all non cishets. An asexual person needs and deserves representation and I welcome them 100%
An asexual person can be cishet though, and how much or how little they have sex really doesn’t change that. Additionally, that isn’t what the LGBT community is. The LGBT community isn’t a dumping ground for everything non cishet, it’s more of a social and political movement that works to fight homophobia and transphobia (at the very least, that was the intention). It wasn’t just a bunch of weird people being weird together, the community had and still has a reason to exist as it does.
Additionally, yeah! Ace and aro people should totally have a space to talk about their experience and a way to get their voices out there! That place just isn’t the LGBT community. Think about it: ace and aro people, unless also LGBT, really don’t have a lot in common with the LGBT community. No shared history, no similar experiences, no similar threats. Wouldn’t it be much more effective for the aro/ace community to exist as a separate social and political group? More room to share their ideas, no ‘sharing the spotlight’, all the focus would be on the issues and such that come with being ace and/or aro. To me, it makes way more sense to have a separate aro/ace community than tacking aro/ace people onto LGBT.
Lol no they can’t they aren’t heterosexual. And they do share threats and mistreatment. From personal experience, more people do not believe in asexuality than homosexuality.
Well, think of it this way. There’s a man attracted to other men. He’s asexual. Does him not wanting to have sex make him not gay? If not, then a straight person not wanting to have sex doesn’t make them no longer straight. That goes for any sexuality.
I actually have a few posts and sources that you might find interesting in this debate! no obligation, but if you want to understand more of the other side of the argument, you might find it informative :)
A few reasons bring ace/aro isn’t LGBT from a historical and contemporary standpoint
How Asexuality is different than being gay, bi, etc. (short)
Short anecdote about A being for Ally
Summary of the history of the LGBT community
Granted, these are Tumblr posts but find them to be very informative. I do not think that unless that aro or ace person is LGBT in some way they at all experience similar struggles as LGBT people. Not at all. My parents have verbally, mentally, and physically abused me for being trans. My parents threatened to kick me out of the house for being who I was, they cut me off from any social interaction, they took away my phone, my internet, any way of talking to everyone else about what was happening to me. They threatened to send me to mental hospitals to ‘fix’ me. They threatened to pull me out of school, the only place I could escape them. My depression and suicidal urges spiraled out of control, and I genuinely thought I would kill myself before I graduated high school. I’ve been called an ‘it’, a rapist, a pervert, a trender, a mistake, a sin, mentally ill, an abuser, a fujoshi, a fujoshit (all for being trans and gay), and I live under the constant threat of being beaten or raped or murdered for being who I am. Somehow, I don’t think that a lot of that would have happened if I was a straight cis girl who just wasn’t interested in sex.
I know ace and aro people have their own struggles. Everyone does, and there have to be special problems that go with being ace or aro. But I do not think that they are or will ever be comparable to what LGBT people are faced with on a day to day basis. That is part of the reason they do not belong in the LGBT community.
That being said, sorry for the long reply, and thank you for listening to what I have to say. Please don’t mistake my passion or intensity for meanness or pushing other’s problems to the side. I have my opinions, you have yours, and I appreciate you listening to me. Thanks.
Look I’m sorry about what you have experienced but it is important to understand that asexuals are a part of the community and most of us have the decency to recognize that, you can be quaint and polite and I may not be, but you are still wrong. The a is there and it stands for asexual and it always will. I wish I could say this better and cite my sources but I don’t think my opinion is spurred by anything but emotion and passion. I have a lot of friends who are asexual and aromatic and they can’t just fuck off to an asexual community? Like that’s not a big thing? The lgbtq 🏳️🌈 community is about inclusion of people that need it. Asexuals who are with people of the opposite sex are still asexual and valid and their lack of sexuality therefor deviates then from the heterosexual “norm” in media. That’s why the lgbtq community exists; to promote inclusion of all non cishets. They are not heterosexual. They are asexual. As a transgender person, surely you have felt exclusion, and how hard it is, then you should understand this and why asexuals deserve it. Add another a for gods sakes, make it for ally, I support it, but don’t take away that representation for ace/aros.
Asexual isn’t about not being into sex. It’s about not experiencing sexual attraction. You can’t be ace and heterosexual. You just can’t.
Do you think non transgender people should have a say in trans rights? Is it there business?
I say no, and non asexuals shouldn’t be able to push them out of the community.
My thinking. Take it with a grain of salt. Or don’t. I’d prefer the latter. I mean that’s what debates are about, right?
I think that anyone can talk about any subject, even if it might not affect them. I welcome the opinions of trans and cis people on trans issues, because I think the mentality of ‘you aren’t X, so stay in your lane’ is stupid and gets nothing done. Additionally, this is an LGBT issue, not just an ace issue. By that logic, it’s only LGBT people who should get to discuss this. If we’re still following that logic, I should be able to talk about this issue, as I am both gay and trans, and a cisgendered heteromantic/heterosexual shouldn’t. That doesn’t make sense.
I’m not saying ace people aren’t real. I’m not saying ace people aren’t valid. I’m not saying ace people don’t deserve respect or love or understanding or a place to speak, but they are not LGBT. If you’re straight, you’re straight, being ace doesn’t change that. If you’re gay, you’re gay, being ace doesn’t change that. To be straight (or hetero) is to be attracted to the opposite sex, be it romantically, sexually, or both. In no way do I understand this logic that because someone doesn’t feel sexual or romantic attraction that somehow they aren’t straight or gay or bi. That does not affect who you’re attracted to, it changes in what ways you’re attracted to them.
The LGBT community is not for every single non cishet person. It’s for lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgenders. And even so, if you’re cisgender and straight (cishet), you aren’t non cishet for being ace. That logic makes no linguistic or logical sense. Asexuality isn’t a new sexuality. It is a lack of sexual attraction. It is a modifier. It isn’t a sexuality.
Additionally, please don’t compare everything I’ve been to to not being included in LGBT. It is not that large of an issue. Not being LGBT isn’t the end of the world, it doesn’t mean your community isn’t real or is hated or anything. It just means your not LGBT. Why is that such a bad thing? People aren’t hating asexuals. People aren’t wanting them to die or killing them in the streets or sending them off to be hung. People for the large majority are understanding. I am understanding. And I feel I’m informed enough on the subject, the LGBT community and it’s history, and the current state of things to have the opinion I do and to believe what I believe.
The LGBT community is about achieving social and political equality for LGBT people. It isn’t an inclusion club. It isn’t a weird kid’s club. It is a legitimate political and activist movement, and I think it’s much more beneficial that way.
The internet exists. Social media exists. It’s easier now more than any other time in history to create communities in social movements. If furries can create a literallyworldwide network, why can’t ace people? There is no reason they can’t.
Then again, also just my opinion. Take it with a grain of salt, but please do realize I have legitimate reasons and historical evidence to believe so.
Those are actually the wrong definitions. You can’t make stuff up. Participation is important, but if you are going to push people out of their community you are changing lanes and taking lives and that is not ok.
Ohana means family ✊
Historically things were different. History doesn’t and shouldn’t define the lgbt community.
Heterosexual/heteromantic - attracted to the opposite gender
Straight - attracted to the opposite gender
Homosexual/Homoromantic - attracted to the same gender
Gay - attracted to the same gender.
These aren’t dictionary definitions, but these are in fact the definitions. I’m not making them up.
The LGBT community is based on its history. The present may change the future, but history is there, and it’s very important.
I am not taking lives. I am not changing lanes. Your assumptions are wrong and your thought process is flawed. Being accused of taking lives for having an opinion on ace discourse is like being called a rapist for being a gay trans man. No correlation. No causation. Nothing connecting the two. That is a really wild reach. I’m not saying ace people are bad or shouldn’t be accepted! Some of my best buds are ace! I love them to pieces? I just don’t think they’re LGBT. And if that takes lives, maybe we have bigger problems. People can have different opinions. You don’t make any logical sense. It seems like you aren’t reading my responses at all. Is this the Twilight Zone?
What could an asexual person get from the LGBT community that they couldn’t get from an ace ally, a supportive friend, a counselor, or an understanding parent? Why is it so important to be LGBT? Why is it so necessary? Why is it so much better? Ace people don’t need protection against harmful laws or human rights violations (which the LGBT community protects LGBT people from), so it isn’t that. You don’t need to be LGBT to be accepted. To don’t need to be LGBT to be valid. So why does one need to be LGBT when all signs point to asexuality not being inherently LGBT?
